making enemies on twitter
What I posted: “Mackenzie Phillips didn’t sleep with her dad till she was 20. See ladies…you CAN wear’em down.” What was written in response: @Candace40 : You are despicable & ill! @rubyslipperinks : How can u even say something like that in jest? The whole thing is so disgusting! @MissMallory2u You’re a disgrace to women.
Upcoming Shows (updated...again)
Links is down here: COMIX BENTZEN BALL COMEDY CELLAR STANDUP NY PALEY CENTER panel w/Writers of Late Night NY COMEDY FESTIVAL w/ Patton Oswalt
1980’s Vision Video fresh from the archives. Things were wacky back then. If the video doesn’t load (because sometimes these NBC videos are piles of shit, go directly to the source.
panorama studio shot because i'm bored
RT @kevinseccia: I have a hard time telling famous, ex-football players in commercials from random, anonymous loudmouths in commercials.
This should be fun RT @hugel BYT Comedy Fest in DC Oct 22-24th. Patton, @rajskub, @nickkroll, @steveagee @morgan_murphy http://bit.ly/cfBXJ
I’m such a hipster, I styled my pubes into a handlebar moustache. (I would normally say Rollie Fingers moustache but I didn’t want to alienate any of my fans who don’t follow 1970’s baseball)
RT @scarygenius: I have a decent joke but Kevin Bacon has to die for it to work #330
I think they came up with the title “The Jay Leno Show” by asking what moms used to call the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
why does rihanna still dress like she’s covering a bruised face?
RT @Imaliwaller Watched Oprah,I can c where Whitneys coming from. My life was also simpler when I was young & writing comedy just for Jesus
Cancer is a real dick. (Sigh)
You ever sit in a hotel room and just let the hotel’s entertainment preview channel play on a loop? To me, that’s how life feels.
I have to buy my womens shoes from a website whose slogan is “Because style doesn’t stop at size 10.” Oh God, I’M A MONSTER!!!!
I’m gonna say it. Thought the Kanye interview seemed pleasantly unplanned & I liked Jays question about what Kanye’s mom would have thought
Twitter: where celebrity deaths and the realization that there is wi-fi on your airplane come to be discussed.
Has everyone forgotten that Kanye did the exact same thing in 1997 when Stanley Prusiner won the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine?!!
The only thing dumber than what Kanye did is the fact that grownups aren’t going to stop talking about it all week.
This really is awful and worth a read. RT: @thecomicscomic NY Times “interviews” Seth MacFarlane http://bit.ly/2jyHDP
the best part of being a lady who likes football? I get to yell, “Touchdown! Did you see that catch?!! God, I want to fuck that guy!”
Pics from my first NY baseball game.
thanks to my boss’s boss’s boss’s boss, I was able to get some great seats at the Yankee game today. Took my Uncle Joel. That’s him. He’s the best.
Its ALWAYS surprising when people I like are friends with people I don’t like. Youre friends with that asshole? Uh oh, maybe I’M an asshole.
I don’t have any friends whose twitter names describe their relationship with other people (ie “Steves_gal, Tims_mom, Lucindas_dentist)
RT @Imaliwaller: text I just got from my mom: Dad sat next to 2 Playboy bunnies on plane. I told him not to fart. Do you know Adam Levine?
The fact that the first time I saw someone drink their own pee was on Mayweather/Marquez 24/7 says a lot about my proclivities.
Just noticed the bruises all over my legs from moving. I look like I’m in an abusive relationship with a midget.
In El Paso? Go see this guy! RT @hawkinsdotbiz: I will be telling jokes @ the new Comic Strip in El Paso, TX tonite thru Sunday. SEP 9-13
Oh man, I hope Mayweather and Marquez are cool with fighting on Rosh Hashanah.